Mar 26, 2026
“I try not to let it bother me.” Have you ever said that to yourself?
Some kind of situation has happened in your life, it clearly bothers you, but you’re really trying to not let it bother you.
I totally get that because whatever that bothered feeling is, is uncomfortable in our bodies.
It’s maybe disappointment, like, “Oh, I try not to let it bother me that I didn’t a callback for that role. I’m trying not to let it bother me though.”
But clearly I’m already bothered, right?
So, here I am feeling sad, disappointed, whatever feelings I’m feeling as an actor about not booking. And I’m also resisting that feeling, so I’m trying not to feel it, which is also uncomfortable.
So I have two things going against me simultaneously.
I have the undercurrent of whatever that uncomfortable feeling is that I’m resisting. And then I have all of the energy that I’m putting into resisting feeling that way.
It’s like a double whammy and it’s no fun at all.
And I understand why it is that I, and maybe you, all of us, resist being bothered, feeling disappointed, sad, hurt, upset.
These feelings are very uncomfortable within our bodies.
So I understand why it is that we try to push them away, not feel that way.
“I’m going to put on a happy face and go out and something fun” and whatever.
But I think when we do that, we also deny a part of ourselves that we can deny it for a certain amount of time and it will kind of quiet down.
But it keeps talking, in some way, until we finally just acknowledge it and listen to it.
I have found it much more valuable in my life to listen to that voice, that part of me that feels hurt or disappointed or upset about whatever the situation is. Give it voice, give it acknowledgement and say, “Okay, so this is how I’m feeling right now, and that’s okay, and if I acknowledge this and I feel this through in my body, it will start to dissipate.”
I think we get scared that we’re going to get trapped there and that really doesn’t ever happen.
Someone, somewhere, and I think Oprah then repeated what they said, said the lifespan of a feeling is about 90 seconds.
I don’t know if that’s necessarily true or not. I know I’ve certainly felt upset for maybe at least a couple of days over certain things, but that also might’ve been me feeling upset and then resisting feeling upset.
I might’ve cut that time down a lot if I had just gone, “I feel upset. I’m gonna throw myself a little pity party because things didn’t go the way that I’d kind of wanted them to go, and I’m sad.”
And that’s it.
So my question to you would be…
If you’re one of the people that likes to say, “I’m trying to not let it bother me” or “I don’t want it to bother me. I’m trying to just move on and whatever” and everything.
Let it bother you.
So that’s not a question.
That’s actually just a statement.
Let it f—ing bother you.
It’s okay.
You will live.
I promise.
As long as you don’t cause harm to yourself or anyone around you, you just feeling bothered by a situation and then extending to yourself the compassion of acceptance of that emotion.
Try that out.
I think that’s going to take you a lot farther than you think it might.