It's time to let go of your misconceptions around mindfulness and meditation
If you think you're the worst meditator in the world, you're probably not. You probably just have some unhelpful misconceptions about what practicing mindfulness and meditation "should" look like.
"I *should* clear my mind"
"I *should* stop thinking"
"I *should* think only of an empty void"
That all sounds less like mindfulness...and more like self torture.
Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment with curious, nonjudgmental awareness. Focusing on the act of breathing is an easy way to find the present moment because you're always breathing in the present moment (at least we hope 😉). As you're tuning into the present moment via your breath, your brain will continue "braining" (processing sensory input, thinking, pumping your heart, etc).
You can't stop your brain from "braining" so why torture yourself by trying?
Instead, just notice.
"Ah, I notice my breath moving in and out of my body."
"Oh, I'm thinking about that meeting I just had and all the new items on my todo list."
"I'm going to gently refocus on my breath."
The fact that thoughts about your meeting and your todo list popped into your brain doesn't make you a bad meditator. It makes you a human with a brain.
Notice the thoughts. Notice the sensations. Notice the present moment.